PCT Thru-hike #12: Trail Depression
Thru-hiking the Pacific Crest Trail was a life-changing experience for Arthur and Jill. This is our story.
Follow the PCT thru-hike adventure from the beginning and hike with us to mile 2,650.
Mosquito Mountain
Written by Arthur
The sunlight woke us up early. Usually we cover our eyes and go back to sleep for a bit more, but since the mosquitos hadn’t swarmed our tent yet we made ourselves get up and get going while we still had the mosquitoless opportunity.
We continued our long, 17 mile descent from Muir Pass through beautiful Evolution Valley. We came to our first real water ford of the trail at Evolution Creek and got wet nearly up to our hips. A ford is when you have to walk through the water, shoes optional, as opposed to a crossing where you can hop over rocks or walk on a log (or luck out with the occasional bridge). The current was not very strong due to it being a low snow year. There was an alternate path across a meadow for when the creek was impossible to ford, but that was not the case this year. But the water sure was cold! Direct snowmelt caused our feet to ache in immense pain after only seconds in the water, and it took a good hour of drying and walking before our feet felt normal again. Brrr!
We followed the creek down some miles until we came upon a side trail loop to Muir Ranch and some hot springs. Trail friends had mentioned this side trail and we decided we would go check it out.
Down the trail to the Muir Ranch we stepped aside to let a couple of men on horses leading a train of 8 or 10 mules go by, all of the beasts carrying buckets and bins full of something. We asked what they were up to and they said they were going to help setup a backcountry park ranger at his cabin. We had passed a handful of ranger station cabins in the Sierras and all had been empty so far. Guess one was moving in for awhile!
We dropped down to the Muir Ranch and it had a sign saying it was closed for the season, even though online it said it was supposed to open more than a week earlier. Bushtit poked around and found nothing worth noting. We had heard that the ranch kept a huge hiker box full of supplies people leave and take as needed, but there was not one to be found. We were really hoping to find some food in the hiker box as we had been rationing our food supplies pretty tightly. We didn’t take into consideration just how much more food we would need at this high elevation with climbing huge passes and mountains every day. What food we brought in with us just was not sufficient for how many calories we had been burning. We weren’t starving, but meals and snacks had been meager compared to what we really should have been eating to fuel ourselves. It was rough.
We found out from others who had ventured to the hot springs that they had turned out to be lukewarm mud pits. The drought took them away!
With no extra food to be found we hiked and sweated up a severely steep mule trail back up to the PCT. Hungry, hot, and sorely disappointed: I had broken.
A bout of trail depression washed over me. I didn’t want to be on the trail anymore. I had nothing to look forward to but the next town because there would be food. We hiked all of the best passes already, the Sierras were supposed to be the crown jewel of the trail, so why go on? I wanted out. Even if it meant that I had to break a bone to get some rescue squad to come save me, or if I had to hike another 60 miles to get to somewhere so that I could get out of the mountains.
My depression quickly turned into anger and I yelled to Bushtit, telling her that I was done and hated the trail. I told her I wasn’t enjoying it anymore. We marched on for some miles before I apologized for getting upset, telling her I should vent to the trees instead of her (I was kicking fallen pine cones in my rage). She was only upset that I was upset, and supported me either way if I wanted to stay on the trail or not.
Soon we were laughing again and all that anger and depression washed away. I didn’t want to leave the trail. It had been very difficult here in the mountains, but also very rewarding. Hunger is a logistical problem, and one that we would not allow to happen again. The mountains were been beyond spectacular, and I didn’t want to leave them until I had seen them all.
We still had an 11,000ft pass to climb. Lunch for me was a packet of instant potatoes (440 calories). That was all the fuel I could spare to support my climb.
It was a pretty set of switchbacks showing us a side of the Sierras we hadn’t seen yet. The mountains were completely covered in green trees, something similar to what I remember the Oregon Coast range looked like.
We met some friends part way up the trail at a creek. We shared our frustrations and plans for going forward. Talk came up of the brewery in the upcoming town of Mammoth Lakes, and we all just got ourselves super excited over some good food and good beer. A few days away. Only a few days away. We moved on to scale the peak. I tried to hold out and not eat anything else until we had our dinner meal, but part way up the last section of the mountain I caved. Hiking uphill on an empty, growling stomach had slowed me down way too much. I had to grab a PowerBar from my pack (240 calories) just to be able to finish the climb.
We got to where there was less than 1000ft elevation to go, and mosquitos happened. It was a marsh near the peak, and the things literally formed a cloud around us within seconds of stopping for a break. No joke. They were everywhere.
So we hustled up the remainder of the pass like we never had before. Nothing to light a fire under your ass like a million hungry mosquitos chasing after you. One flew into my eyeball as I was speed hiking and got stuck. I had to blink several times before I managed to shake it out. Another went straight up my nose. Gah!
It was a beautiful ascent, but we moved so fast without stopping that we were barely able to take it in. Stopping for five seconds to snap a quick picture was a huge risk. We had no time to stop and catch our breath. But when we made it to the top of Selden Pass it was still amazing enough to make all the craziness we had just gone through worth it. The views were amazing.
Still the mosquitos followed us, and there were more mosquitoey-looking lakes down below on the other side of the pass. We took in the view for as long as we could and then hustled downhill. We stopped real quick to eat some tuna tortillas for dinner and then kept on moving. The swarm stayed just as persistent during the few miles we made downhill. Once we found a tentsite we had to do the mosquito shuffle as we hurriedly set up our tent and got inside.
Dozens of the things clung to the mesh of our tent. Somehow in the mere moments it took us to get inside our tent we let in six of the bastards and we had to squash them all.
This side of the mountain pass was a consistent marsh of snowmelt. It didn’t seem to have an end in any direction. We fell asleep with the stars shining brightly in the sky, and many many creepy mosquitos watching us from inches away.
P.S.
A side note about trail depression. Not only did I get broken by the Sierras, but I later came to find that nearly every person I knew on the trail had similar breakdowns in these amazing and tough mountains. A couple people did leave the trail, but most continued on. It is a long commitment, this hike, and in many ways these mountains had been the most challenging experience so far. Though my meltdown was temporary, it hit hard. Talking with others who had similar experiences and conversations made it easier to cope. I no longer felt the need to leave the trail, but the depression did hit again every so often. It was good to know I wasn’t the only one, and as you’ll read in the next post even Bushtit had her breakdown moment in the Sierras. The wilderness is tough. We had never been this isolated before, and the very hard hiking didn’t make it any easier.
Silver Pass
Written by Jill
We woke up early enough to avoid the swarms of mosquitos that plagued us last night — apparently they can’t handle the cold. Sadly our tent was completely drenched from condensation, so we rolled and stuffed everything as best we could without touching the tent walls. I had a trash bag that lined my pack to keep things waterproof, so we wrapped the sopping wet tent in the trash bag to keep it from dripping on me. There was no way we were waiting around in mosquito valley for the tent to dry this morning.
We started moving around seven and had a surprise creek ford within a mile of our camp. We both took our shoes and socks off and walked though the freezing creek to the other side. I got a rash on both feet from walking in wet shoes after Muir Pass, so my game plan for today was to keep my socks and shoes dry.
We had a few more easy miles before starting a thousand foot climb. There were several fun creek crossings where I leaped over rocks and sauntered across logs while Tomtit utilized his waterproof boots and walked wherever he pleased. Then we came up to an unassuming stream where I misplaced a jump and my foot slid right off a rock into the water. I had to walk the rest of the uphill with wet shoes.
After climbing to the top of the hill we had switchbacks down to the trail junction to Vermillion Valley Resort. VVR is a popular destination for skiers and they accept packages for hikers. We also heard they have excellent food, but that it is expensive. We chose not to hike the extra miles to the ferry that takes hikers to VVR and to instead continue on to Mammoth. We stopped at the bottom of the switchbacks to dry the tent and have lunch. On the way down I saw my first bear in the wild! It was small (maybe a young bear) and golden. I think it was still a black bear even though it wasn’t black. Tomtit missed it, but he had seen a few bears in the wild on other adventures, so he didn’t feel left out. A six mile 3000 foot gain to Silver Pass awaited us after lunch. The first thing we came to after packing up was another large creek. Tomtit splashed his way across easily while I scouted up the bank for a possible rock crossing. I watched a hiker who had just come from VVR as he attempted to cross over a rock path. His wooden hiking stick snapped and he fell butt first into the creek.
I was determined to not hike with wet feet again today, so I went back to where Tomtit had crossed and took off my shoes and socks. I had both shoes in my left hand and both hiking poles in my right when I started across. The water wasn’t deep, but I didn’t anticipate how slippery the rocks would be. I lost my balance to the left, and since I was carrying my shoes I didn’t have a stick for support. My foot slammed between two rocks and I dunked my shoes and socks into the creek. The rush of self pity that comes from being slapped in the face by irony hit me and I started to cry.
I got out of the creek with angry tears rolling down my face and Tomtit raced over to see what had happened. I threw my shoes down on the ground (but I apologized to them later — it wasn’t their fault) and kept sobbing as I told him what happened. As I explained the whole thing it started sounding funny and soon enough we were laughing. I guess everyone has their days. My right foot had a small bruise on the side and my left pinky toe was bleeding, but it was really my pride that hurt the most. I put Neosporin and a Band-aid on my toe, popped a couple of ibuprofen, and wrung out my socks. We still had the pass to climb and we were losing daylight.
The climb up was very beautiful and had a lot of stairs. Tomtit and I crushed the miles and got to the top by five o’clock. We cruised down the other side, hoping to make some more miles before stopping — we were really looking forward to food in Mammoth Lakes and discussed pasta in detail while hiking. We ended up passing Salamander and Treebeard where they had camped for the evening. It was good to see them and catch up : )
We went a little further for a 21.5 mile day and set up in a one tent spot next to Fish Creek. Tomorrow we’ll be gunning for Mammoth Lakes!
To Mammoth Lakes
Written by Arthur
In the middle of the night I woke up to the sound of rain. My tent vestibule was kept open because we were camped right next to a creek. Allowing the breeze in would help keep the tent dry from condensation. As soon as I heard those raindrops hit the tent I sat up and frantically worked in the darkness and my sleepy haze to close the flap. It took longer than it should have. When we got up for the day there was still a light drizzle. We packed our belongings without too much care of the moisture since town was only 17 miles away. We were sure to make it.
There was no mountain pass to climb today. We had actually just finished the High Sierra. It was bittersweet, but we were glad that we only had to walk a few small uphill bumps in the wet weather. As we did we passed two dudes in Oregon Duck ponchos and had a brief laugh with them at Bushtit’s expense (she has an Oregon State Beaver bottle opener hanging off her bag).
The moisture continued and worsened as the day moved on. We were rained on consistently for hours. The clouds and fog played with the snowy mountains across the way. It was interesting to see part of mountains pop in and out of view, enveloped in the mist. As the rain strengthened we moved faster. Our rain gear kept us as dry as it could, but it wouldn’t hold out forever. We hustled to keep our bodies warm.
The weather took a pause when we were in the middle of another sequoia forest. We stopped and sat on a rock to have lunch. Minutes after opening our bags and getting out our supplies it had started raining once again. We each snagged a quick bite and threw our gear back together.
The uphill was behind us. Town was downhill. We booked it. Huge, loud, shaking cracks of thunder blasted behind us. It was difficult to warm up while going downhill, and we didn’t spare much time to put food in our bellies, but a dry hotel room was not far away!
We kept a fast pace for quite awhile. The last 12 miles of our day flew right by. Hail fell in curtains. The rain became an absolute downpour for the last two miles to Red’s Meadow Resort. This portion of trail had been designed poorly with no water outlets cut into it. The trail itself became a stream with pools of water building at every bump. Gravel floated on top of the puddles, creating deceptive traps. We continued to run downhill by stepping to the side of the trail where we could, or else hopping on rocks and fallen logs.
Despite the best efforts of our rain protection we each became drenched to the bone. We had good protection from the rain, but walking all day in a downpour was just too much. If we didn’t have town as a goal we probably would have just stayed in our tent for the better part of the day.
But we jumped on the short side trail to Red’s Meadow Resort and were there in a flash. There was an open cafe and general store, but we didn’t go in either of them. Instead I encouraged Bushtit to ask the first person we saw for a ride down into the town of Mammoth Lakes. There was a guy putting stuff in his SUV and we walked right up to him. He hesitantly said yes to giving us soggy hikers a ride. He was a hiker himself. The guy had just arrived from New York and was leaving a resupply box at the general store for himself because he was going to start the John Muir Trail in just a few days. He figured it would be good karma to give a couple hikers a ride since he would be needing the favor returned very soon.
He drove us down a windy single lane road down into town. It was like we were down some backwoods wilderness road, but town just popped up out of nowhere, and a nice looking town it was! The guy drove us over to the Motel 6 where we were greeted by a super friendly dude who admitted to dressing up with friends as dungeons and dragons characters (wizards, barbarians, clerics and the like) and hiking out on the trail to mess with other hikers. “Come forth and partake in our merriment and warm your bones at our hearth!” He would call to passing hikers. Funny guy.
We were given the nicest Motel 6 room I had ever seen. We only wanted to dry off and lay down, so we ordered delivery from an Italian place and gorged ourselves on lasagna, fettuccini alfredo, garlic bread, salads, a cheese pizza, tiramisu, and a couple cannoli. We went all out. It was great.
A bit later we had found out some other hikers were in town, so we went to the restaurant just next door and had a couple of beers with them. There were about 10 hikers eating all you can eat pork ribs with a trail angel by the name of Sugar Momma. We caught up with hiker friends and got to know Sugar Momma a bit. She was a super friendly lady who only wished she could do more to help hikers, but she had recent knee surgery and couldn’t do all too much.
We hung out until the restaurant closed and then made our way back to the Motel where we crashed for the night. We wound up spending two zero days in town, enjoying movies and breweries with other hikers.
Escape From Mammoth Lakes
Written by Jill
We didn’t get going this morning until 8 o’clock. I guess town takes a lot out of you! We hit the free breakfast in the hotel lobby and then packed up our gear. We’d missed the early shuttle that took hikers back to Red’s Meadow Resort so we had to hop on the free trolley, then the mountain bike bus, then get tickets for the later shuttle at the base of Mammoth Mountain.
The transit system in Mammoth Lakes was easy to use and cheap! We ran into Hummingbird while we were in line and caught up with her for a bit and then got on the bus. The ride to Red’s Meadow was about 30 minutes and the bus was packed. There were lots of day hikers and fishermen for the weekend, all jumping off the shuttle at various creeks and trails. Tomtit, Cashmere, Physio, and I were the last people on the bus with Red’s Meadow being the last stop.
Tomtit and I decided to get lunch at a little restaurant called Mulehouse Cafe while Cashmere and Physio started on the trail. Tomtit got a steak sandwich and I got pie and ice cream : )
Once we finished eating we grabbed our bags and rejoined the trail. There was a popular side route to Devil’s Postpile that met the PCT after a mile, so we decided to check it out. We read a description on how the post piles were formed. Apparently earthquakes had caused the ground to split and lava was forced up out of the earth and quickly cooled into posts. Some of the posts had broken and formed a large rubble pile. It was a pretty cool side trip.
After seeing the rocks, Tomtit and I had a choice — up until now the PCT and the JMT had been the same trail, but after Devil’s Postpile the trails split and rejoined fourteen miles later. We decided to keep hiking the PCT. Some of our friends went the JMT route so we will later ask them how it was, but we wanted to stay on our trail.
Thunder boomed overhead as we made some afternoon miles. It didn’t rain on us while we hiked, thankfully. We passed a lot of day hikers and weekend warriors until we started climbing uphill, then we had the woods to ourselves. We’d gone about nine miles and it was 5 o’clock when Tomtit and I kind of petered out. We found a nice secluded camp site, ate cheese and avocado tortillas for dinner, and settled into the tent. We still had cell service so we watched some Netflix while our tent was sprinkled on. It was a short day but we had made it out of the town vortex!
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See more pictures from Arthur and Jill’s Pacific Crest Trail thru-hike by downloading the Adventure and The Pacific Crest Trail eBook. A print version is available as well. All sales help support Better Hiker.
